A mock bio

[Tiger-chan]

Cat's Name: Swiftstrike
Cat's Age: 30 moons
Cat's Gender: Female
Alliance: Riverclan
Position: Deputy

Appearance: A white cat with black paws.

Personality: Sweet, kind, and trustworthy.


So, what do ya' think?

[OneLife]

Well you can't make your cat a deputy you have to check whos in the possion then if it's open apply for it. You need more then just one sentence about your cat and their personality and you didn't post an eye color, history, or roleplay sample.

I think I got everything

[Tiger-chan]

Nice job, that was perfect. Since that one was so easy, I'll go and make some harder bios.

[OneLife]

Ok can't wait.

[Tiger-chan]

Cat's Name: Redpaw
Cat's Age: 4 moons
Cat's Gender: Male
Allience: Shadowclan
Position: Apprentice

Appearance: Redpaw is a tortie cat with bright blue eyes. His fur is very short.

Personality: He's kind, and always will to help others. Redpaw's also a bit of a ladies man.

History: He was always sneaking out of camp as a kit, and he often got in trouble for it. Redpaw became an apprentice early because he caught lots of prey for the clan at a young age.

Roleplay Sample: Redpaw pads out of the den and runs a paw over his ears. He looks around the camp for someone to talk to. He'd been rather lonely these days.



Here, try this one.

[OneLife]

You can't have a male tortoiseshell cat without buying them from the store. The RP sample in is current tense when it should be in past tense. And you need more for Repaws history and the prey bit sounds a bit like Godmoding. How'd I do?

[Tiger-chan]

That was flawless, exept for one little thing, but I don't think that I explained this to you. For a cat to be an apprentice, they need to be a minimum of 6 moons of age, and to be a warrior, they need to be a minimum of 12 moons old.

Like I said, other than that, you handled that bio perfectly.